Read Anything

 

That was a serious question!!! Yes I read bits and pieces. Started many books, but some how i cannot complete . I feel irritated. I do not know what i am reading. I am in a whirlwind. like paper piece i float in the air. I curse myself . Why i am not focused ? ( last DEC. i read a book Memoirs of a Gangsters Daughter by Yakuza Moon. A painful read. many times i cry literally, so i am still that boy walking in the green pasture.can we say green pasture!!. i think it is wrong)

I think life is extremely complected in this modern world. Our children’s wold will be more complicated. There is will be few jobs. rich become more rich and poor will eternally poor. But think about the emotional turmoil. I have a book of David Foster Wallace. The last book. He killed himself at the young age.   this is a long paragraph. But really catch that mind. The mind which is floating like a paper, the frustration we all are going through. Try to read this/But not to grasp.

“–and then you’re in serious trouble, very serious trouble, and you know it, finally, deadly serious trouble, because this Substance you thought was your one true friend, that you gave up all for, gladly, that for so long gave you relief from the pain of the Losses your love of that relief caused, your mother and lover and god and compadre, has finally removed its smily-face mask to reveal centerless eyes and a ravening maw, and canines down to here, it’s the Face In The Floor, the grinning root-white face of your worst nightmares, and the face is your own face in the mirror, now, it’s you, the Substance has devoured or replaced and become you, and the puke-, drool- and Substance-crusted T-shirt you’ve both worn for weeks now gets torn off and you stand there looking and in the root-white chest where your heart (given away to It) should be beating, in its exposed chest’s center and centerless eyes is just a lightless hole, more teeth, and a beckoning taloned hand dangling something irresistible, and now you see you’ve been had, screwed royal, stripped and fucked and tossed to the side like some stuffed toy to lie for all time in the posture you land in. You see now that It’s your enemy and your worst personal nightmare and the trouble It’s gotten you into is undeniable and you still can’t stop. Doing the Substance now is like attending Black Mass but you still can’t stop, even though the Substance no longer gets you high. You are, as they say, Finished. You cannot get drunk and you cannot get sober; you cannot get high and you cannot get straight. You are behind bars; you are in a cage and can see only bars in every direction. You are in the kind of a hell of a mess that either ends lives or turns them around. ( from Infinite Jest) Don try to buy this book. you cant read it!!!!