I am extremely disappointed by a persons behaviour. It really hurt. But as usual lack of courage I keep this incident in minds smoke. it roll and round and finally decided that not to talk again or avoid nicely this person. well your pain and disturbance force you to take decision. But days passed i was just reflecting the this friendship. Long years we started talking in phone. over 30 years. we hardly meet. its just constant talk or kind of listening. mostly i listen. the stories, pain , the made up stories , agony all. I become a good listener. Then i started giving advice. it really settlement many things in this ” other ” person life. But i loose interest / I ask myself ” what i am getting out of this? ” Well in Big picture Nothing matters. You and me are different side of coin. I am not the one who reiterate ” Other is Hell”

How to learn anything at my age = 50

anything – a new language, a new theory in science , study about learning

I am going to accumulate whatever data i get in internet and read reputedly to get a grip in this subject. As usual just for fun and self improvement.

 “The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.” Dr. seuss.

“The beautiful thing about learning is that nobody can take it away from you.” B.B. King

Pleasure requires constant high.

You eat a big piece of cake you feel pleasure while eating. Pleasure. after some time you want more. everything depend on outside action.

Joy below example.

Let’s say you bake that same chocolate cake from scratch for a friend’s birthday. The process of baking, the love you put into it, and the joy of sharing it with someone special creates a deeper sense of happiness than simply enjoying the cake itself.

reading is joy and browsing is pleasure. and writing is joy when you don’t copy paste.

Huike said to Bodhidharma, “My mind is anxious. Please pacify it.”
Bodhidharma replied, “Bring me your mind, and I will pacify it.”
Huike said, “Although I’ve sought it, I cannot find it.”
“There,” Bodhidharma replied, “I have pacified your mind.”

sometimes, many times ” Nothing bothers me” other than many times there are times always in my life. all will constantly changing in a blink of eye.

practice of anything bring peace. sit with boredom

Why you read fiction?

I read for fun sometimes. I read fiction as a challenge . i read fiction to know a country where i dont travel. I read to see the emotional roller-coaster people are going through. I read to kill time. I read to develop my thinking. I read to improve my pruriency. ( I was about to write proficiency) Mis spelled and get the write word.

Fiction is part of me. it gives me a direction and no direction. it bring lightness to life. the buffoonery side of life. I don’t meet any serious people any more. serious kills you slowly.

“argue it’s like an “empathy gym,” letting you experience the world through different perspectives, even those you disagree with. This can foster understanding and connection.”

We die. That may be the meaning of life. But we do language. That may be the measure of our lives.” Tony Morrison.

But the walk settle some issues. compartmentalize past, future thoughts.

we move around past and future and present meltaway in that.

Money

settled somewhat . But still need to spend some time to move ahead. its keep coming about stocks and trading

relationship

I am murky as everyone . its good to be with loved one. family and friends. But no more chasing anyone , that’s not the way you have to bring someone to life

nature

nature is my new passion. my attention, my sea , my walk and strolling around looking at sky. I read a lot about Jim Harrison and his poetry. well my subject itself Walden

death

somewhat annoying , because there is no point to think about much as , mystery is mystery

death is irrelevant because after death unknown. what’s the point thinking.

i walk barefoot on the shore. The sea move deep and plenty of space created for me to walk. I walk chatting in my head. its more than one hour. As usual money, business and some other vague things in my mind passing and coming. sea is quiet and i am not quiet. legs hurt and and feeling uncomfortable , but all nearby , and the people looks happy and walking. Once you are in pain , find some bigger pain so you don’t mind the first one. if you try to eliminate the pain , it reoccur and make you crazy.

Life is pain . Life is siesta. Life is what it is .

But it moves forward. You see the child . child laugh and make merry and knows nothing matters and you care not care. jumping and running and crying and fighting and sleeping growing fast. if you are child nothing much to worry. so be child.

if you are not working deliberately or desperately 20 hours in a day you tend to get bored.

Boredom is normal phenomena in Life.

So its there. realize it and practice deliberately Boredom.

Read Yellow page 2 hours daily. Stand near Bus stop 2 hours watching Nothing.

Do all boring thigs. If reading is Boring . do it. Nothing exciting.

if you run or walk , dopamine will be created in your body. So it is not boredom.

Watching cloud is boring . so practice that. Just watch a man around 80. He look through window . Nothing particularly interesting to him. Life is Bloody hell Boring. start practicing Boredom.

Luck has been a constant companion. I born in India, its cultural and religious root is very important in my upbringing. My father and mother both extremely hard working people. That was our basis to start a life in this world

I travel to county where i spend around 23 years now . I earned , learned everything from the people and country. Again Big Luck . I have good friends. They help me to understand reality.

when i was in 7th standard i am introduced to strange person, who inculcate reading in my life. I read constantly. i find happiness in reading, reading kick my brain and mind. I am guided by incredible luck and kindness of that person. I love nature and beach. i make sure i spend some time walking in beach. Mostly solitary.

I am lucky , Luck follows me or you can say, almighty is kind to me.

When you are in trouble/ in distress you Sit zazen.

you cant sit properly / your mind force you to get up/ Mind wither away/ body seems to me in extreme pain . But you sit Sit zazen with all your imperfections

That imperfection meltaway gradually and like a snowball you complete your Zazen . you feel you are alive and kicking and life march towards haven.

Snowball – A small ice ball moving down, on a sloppy snow hill , and fetching momentum on the way and sucking ice and getting bigger and bigger and speed.